Back to CA...

So, I'm doing it. Again.

It's been just over a year since I made the insane decision to take the boys (then 7 and 5) and drive from MN to CA, spend a little over a week with my mom (aleha hashalom) while she still had strength, and drive back home. In December. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways. Really.

The trip went well (you can read about it below if you haven't yet, or if you don't remember what happened), and we made it back home safely. It was, as it turns out, the right decision, as my Mom's strength declined shortly after our trip. She had been diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer just before Thanksgiving and she passed away on Mother's Day 2009. She was 65.

Now it's finally time for my brother and me to go through the house and all of Mom & Dad's possessions (Dad passed away in 2004). The paper cup full of twist ties should be easy to deal with, but as with any death of someone you're close to, it's the personal items that are the hardest. Despite every effort to think of it all as "stuff" -- things we can't take with us when we go -- just imagining going through the items I know are there is stressful. I imagine my brother and I will be going through a lot of tissues.

I'm flying out in six days, on January 15, 2010. Husby and the boys will stay home. Husby will look for work (he lost his job last week; anyone looking for an awesome computer network/security guy in the Twin Cities?) and the boys will go to school, and they'll all entertain the pets.

Coming back, however, I'm going to drive. Yep. Rent a minivan, pack it up with whatever of Mom & Dad's stuff I'm bringing home (not the cup of twist ties), and drive roughly 2073 miles from CA to MN, uphill, through the snow. Alone.

I'm seriously questioning my sanity. Again.